Full Access
A Consideration of Intimate and Non-Intimate Interactions in Therapy†
KATHY WEINGARTEN Ph.D.,
KATHY WEINGARTEN Ph.D.
Family Institute of Cambridge, Watertown MA. Send correspondence to author at 82 Homer Street, Newton Centre MA 02159.
Search for more papers by this authorKATHY WEINGARTEN Ph.D.,
KATHY WEINGARTEN Ph.D.
Family Institute of Cambridge, Watertown MA. Send correspondence to author at 82 Homer Street, Newton Centre MA 02159.
Search for more papers by this author†
I would like to acknowledge helpful conversations with Carol Beckner, Laura Benkov, Michele Bograd, Judith Kates, Sallyann Roth, and several clients, about ideas in this article.
Abstract
Viewing therapy as a conversation among participants, rather than as an interview concluding with an intervention selected by an expert, allows one to consider the contributions of each member of the conversation in comparable terms. I propose a distinction between intimate interaction, in which meaning is co-created or shared, and non-intimate interaction, in which meaning is rejected, provided, or misunderstood. I suggest that intimate interaction between therapists and clients is therapeutic and that non-intimate interaction rarely is. However, it is in the acknowledgment and repair of the inevitable lapses of intimate interaction that occur between therapists and clients that there is an opportunity for a profoundly meaningful collaboration.
REFERENCES
- 1 American Psychiatric Association. (1987). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, ( 3rd ed., rev.). Washington DC : American Psychiatric Association.
- 2 Andersen, T., (1987) The reflecting team: Dialogue and meta-dialogue in clinical work. Family Process, 26, 415–428
- 3 T. Andersen (Ed.), (1989) The reflecting team — Dialogues and dialogues about the dialogues. Kent , England : Borgman.
- 4 Anderson, H. and Goolishian, H. A., Human systems as linguistic systems: Preliminary and evolving ideas about the implications for clinical theory. Family Process, 27, 371–393, 1988.
- 5 Anderson, H. and Goolishian, H. A., (1990) Beyond cybernetics: Comments on Atkinson and Heath's “Further thoughts on second-order family therapy”. Family Process, 29, 157–163
- 6
Anderson, H.,
Goolishian, H. A. and
Winderman, L., (1986) Problem-determined systems: Towards transformation in family therapy.
Journal of Strategic and Systemic therapies, 5, 1–14
10.1521/jsst.1986.5.4.1 Google Scholar
- 7 Bograd, M., (1989). Passions of intimacy: Hidden sexual dimensions (pp. 163–195). In D. Kantor & B.F. Okun (eds.), Intimate environments: Sex, intimacy, and gender in families. New York : Guilford Press.
- 8 Brodsky, A. M. and Hare-Mustin, R., (1980). Women and psychotherapy: An assessment of research and practice. New York : Guilford Press.
- 9 Erikson, E. H., (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. New York : W.W. Norton.
- 10
Fisher, M. and
Stricker, G., (1982). Intimacy.
New York
: Plenum Press.
10.1007/978-1-4684-4160-4 Google Scholar
- 11 Gergen, K. J., (1985) The social constructionist movement in modern psychology. American Psychologist, 40, 266–275
- 12 Gergen, K. J. and Gergen, M. M., (1983). Narratives of the self (pp. 254–273). In T.R. Scheibe & K.E. Scheibe (eds.), Studies in social identity. New York : Praeger Publications.
- 13 Goldner, V., (1988) Generation and gender: Normative and covert hierarchies. Family Process, 21, 17–31
- 14 Goldner, V., (1989). Sex, power, and gender: The politics of passion (pp. 28–53). In D. Kantor & B.F. Okun (eds.), Intimate environments: Sex, intimacy, and gender in families. New York : Guilford Press.
- 15 Goolishian, H. A., (1989). The self — Some thoughts from a post-modernist perspective or the intersubjectivity of mind, unpublished manuscript.
- 16 Gurevitch, Z. D., (1989) The power of not understanding: The meeting of conflicting identities. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 25, 161–173
- 17 Gurman, A.S. and Kniskern, D. P., (1981). Handbook of family therapy. New York : Brunner/Mazel.
- 18 Haley, J., (1976). Problem-solving therapy: New strategies for effective family therapy. San Francisco : Jossey-Bass.
- 19 Hare-Mustin, R. and Marechek, J., (1988) The meaning of difference: Gender theory, post-modernism, and psychology. American Psychologist, 43, 455–464
- 20 Havens, L., (1986). Making contact: Uses of language in psychotherapy. Cambridge : Harvard University Press.
- 21 Havens, L., (1989). A safe place: Laying the groundwork of psychotherapy. Cambridge : Harvard University Press.
- 22 Hoffman, L., (1990) Constructing realities: An art of lenses. Family Process, 29, 1–12
- 23
James, K. and
McIntyre, D., (1989) A momentary gleam of enlightenment: Towards a model of feminist family therapy.
Journal of Feminist Family Therapy, 3, 3–24
10.1300/J086v01n03_02 Google Scholar
- 24 D. Kantor and B. F. Okun (Eds.), (1989). Intimate environments: Sex, intimacy, and gender in families, New York : Guilford Press.
- 25 Kaplan, A. G., (1983). Empathic communication in the psychotherapy relationship. Work in Progress (No. 82–02). Wellesley , MA : Stone Center Working Paper Series.
- 26 Keeney, B. P., (1983). Aesthetics of change. New York : Guilford Press.
- 27 Laird, J., (1989). Women and stories: Restory-ing women's self-constructions (pp. 427–450). In M. McGoldrick, C.M. Anderson, & F. Walsh (eds.), Women in families. New York : W.W. Norton.
- 28 Luepnitz, D. A., (1988). The family interpreted: Feminist theory in clinical practice. New York : Basic Books.
- 29 Madanes, C., (1990). Sex, love, and violence: Strategies for transformation. New York : W.W. Norton.
- 30 Maturana, H. R. and Varela, F. J., (1987). The tree of knowledge. Boston : New Science Library.
- 31 McKinnon, L. K. and Miller, D., (1987) The new epistemology and the Milan approach: Feminist and sociopolitical considerations. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 13, 139–155
- 32 Miller, M. V., (1989). Transference and beyond (pp. 93–107). In D. Kantor & B.F. Okun (eds.), Intimate environments: Sex, intimacy, and gender in families, New York : Guilford Press.
- 33 Napier, A. Y. and Whitaker, C. A., (1978). The family crucible. New York : Harper & Row.
- 34 Pope, K.S., (1990) Therapist-patient sexual involvement: A review of the research. Clinical Psychology Review, 10, 477–490
- 35 Real, T., (1990) The therapeutic use of self in constructionist/systemic therapy. Family Process, 29, 255–272
- 36 Schaefer, M. T. and Olson, D. H., (1981) Assessing intimacy: The PAIR Inventory. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 7, 47–60
- 37 Schwaber, E. A., (1983) Psychoanalytic listening and psychic reality. International Review of Psychoanalysis, 10, 379–392
- 38 Schwaber, E. A., (1990) The psychoanalyst's methodological stance: Some comments based on a response to Max Hernandez. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis, 71, 31–36
- 39 Sherman, J. A., (1980). Therapist attitudes and sex-role stereotyping (pp. 35–66). In A.M. Brodsky & R. R-Mustin (eds.), Women and psychotherapy: An assessment of research and practice. New York : Guilford Press.
- 40 Tomm, K., (1987) Interventive interviewing: Part I. Strategizing as a fourth guideline for the therapist. Family Process, 26, 3–13
- 41 Tomm, K., (1987) Interventive interviewing: Part II. Reflexive questioning as a means to enable self-healing. Family Process, 26, 167–183
- 42 Tomm, K., (1988) Interventive interviewing: Part III. Intending to ask circular, strategic, or reflexive questions?, Family Process, 27, 1–15
- 43 Tomm, K., (1990). Ethical postures in family therapy. Paper presented at American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists meetings in Philadelphia, June, 1990.
- 44 Walters, M., Carter, B., Papp, P. and Silverstein, O., (1988). The invisible web: Gender patterns in family relationships. New York : Guilford Press.
- 45 Weingarten, K., (1991) The discourses of intimacy: Adding a social constructionist and feminist view. Family Process, 30, 285–305
- 46 Weingarten, K., (in press). Consultations to myself on a work/family dilemma: A postmodernist, feminist reflection. Journal of Feminist Family Therapy.
- 47 Whitaker, C., (1989). Thoughts about sex, love, and intimacy (pp. 108–128). In D. Kantor & B.F. Okun (eds.), Intimate environments: Sex, intimacy, and gender in families. New York : Guilford Press.
- 48 Wynne, L. C. and Wynne, A. R., (1986) The quest for intimacy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 12, 383–394
